If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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