it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
