He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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