I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
