carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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