therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
