I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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