We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
