How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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