I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
