Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
