the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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