Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
