All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
