She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i believe in u and ur pee
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
