The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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