when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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