and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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