I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Randomize
