We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
