dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize