he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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