break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
