the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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