So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
