My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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