I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize