Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
