And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Damn victory sex feels great
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
