we're blogging at a bar
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
