pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
