I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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