No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
