Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
