I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
