imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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