all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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