Slut skills are useful in every country.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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