He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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