i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
