i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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