She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
