he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
