idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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