True but thats because hes a fetus.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
