Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
