God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
