2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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