so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
