I wish I could punch you in the face.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
