you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
