Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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