Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
