your thong is hanging out like whoa
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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