You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
