Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
