What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
