so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
