worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She's the barista slut.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
