Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
