he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You're like the curious george of whores
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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